When people cry or get emotional over a subject that you have been assigned to cover as a journalist, it is natural to be sympathetic but important to remain detached.
This is a skill I learnt the hard way when I was a trainee reporter, just weeks into my first staff post on a local weekly newspaper.
The editor sent me on a job to interview a woman whose eight-year-old daughter had been knocked down and killed on the street outside her home.
A very sad story but one which I was really eager to do as I'd never been on a 'death knock' before and the article had been earmarked for page 1.
Fortunately, the mother was happy to talk to me and seemed to like the idea that the local newspaper planned to run a tribute article to her beloved daughter.
She openly showed me around her daughter's bedroom, which hadn't been touched since her death just a few days before.
We sat on the edge of her daughter's bed as she showed me school books, class portraits and pictures the child had painted.
In the lounge her daughter's medals and rosettes for horse riding were displayed in a glass cabinet and a huge portrait of her daughter adorned the chimney breast wall.
Through 'journalist eyes' I could instantly see the potential for a great news story and I relished the idea of writing it and having a by-line on page 1.
Then came the crucial interview. I already knew the basic details of what had happened, when and where, but I needed to get the story as told by the mother, in her words.
Initially it went well. She was very open to talk about the day her daughter had been killed, how she had gone for sweets from the shop opposite their house and how she had done this many times before without injury.
I made lots of notes as she spoke and could see the story coming together in my mind and had ideas of how I would write it.
But emotions got the better of the mother and she became upset as she was telling me about her daughter’s personality, her likes and dislikes and how much she had meant to family, friends and neighbours.
Now rather than let her speak and continue her story as I took notes, I instead got wrapped up with her emotional state and put down my notepad and pen to comfort her.
I put my arms around her shoulder as she sobbed and told me how much she missed her daughter and how angry she felt with herself for not going with her to the shop.
She told me how heartbroken she was and went on to describe how much her daughter was loved by many people and how she wished she could turn back time.
I chatted with her and comforted her as if she were a friend and completely forgot that I was there as a news reporter, to listen to her story and get quotes for my article.
Now while I still would
not fault my actions as a human being, and a mother too, you can see I made a
major gaff when covering this news story.
Comforting the mother might have been a kindly act but I wasn’t visiting her home as a friend, I was there as a journalist to get moving quotes for a page 1 news article.
By not taking notes when she talked about her daughter, I failed to recall anything she had said in proper quote form.
So when I got back to the office to write-up the story, I had to call her and ask her to go over what she had said about how she missed her daughter and so forth.
This was obviously not very professional and probably prolonged the mother's agony.
So, if ever you are sent out to cover a sensitive story, don't do what I did.
It is obvious that people may cry and get upset when recalling the death of a loved one, for instance, but as a reporter it is your job to get the story NOT get wrapped up in the emotions of it, no matter how sad the tale.
If a person is sobbing while telling you their story, but happy to continue, then just let them carry on even if you have to wait a few minutes for them to compose themselves.
And if you think about the normal rules of conversation, while you remain silent you are indicating to the other party that they still 'have the floor', so it's natural that they will eventually fill the gap by saying something.
So always remember to remain professional and control the interview with a view to getting the quotes you need to complete or write your story.
Announcing yourself as a journalist is usually indication enough to most people that you are not going to be a comforter if they get emotional, but they are unlikely to shun your comforting actions, if you cross that line.
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